aLwaYs a DiSaPPoiNtMeNt!

Today is a beautiful day! Another day of paradise as my husband always says...My hubby is at werk....while my SIL and I are at home trying to accept the economy in the situation it is....all i feel is negative energy coming thru my house only b'cause i got new that i miscarried i may have been prego when i was sick with the flu and when i popped those pills to recover from my flu sickness i killed everything with it....I have never cried so much in my life that ive broken down and felt sorry for myself.....All today ive reflected how my life would of been if i did this correctly or did this better....but all i can do is move on....My heart hurts so bad right now that i cant help but cry and im the type to hold it in and i hate explaining myself....but its a part of how i grew up i never had an older sister to look up to so i had to learn things on my own....Back in the days we were never close to my family on both sides! Im happy to have my health, my husband, SIL and my family! They have been my support system since day1.....im thankful for the gospel...and i know i need to go back ASAP! I need to go back to the temple the right way and renew my recommend back so i can feel the presence of the Lord.. I need JESUS!!!!